t is time of the year to reflect and pause and express thanks. Here are some of our family’s personal reflections we recently discussed at home.  I captured them and am sharing with you, our friends.
Family and friends are the ones we appreciate the most.  For me, besides my parents, my husband, my children, my friends and the staff  at Lotus Travel, I am thankful for meeting many people whom I’ve met either in person or not throughout my life.  I think each encounter is one I can learn from.  The flower man who sold flowers everyday downstairs of our Guangzhou apartment; the bike dak guy who worked to pursue his dream of meeting his loved girl; and many others who taught me to appreciate, love and be totally present in the moment.



The year of 2014 has been filled with challenges and blessings. Our girls have had a big transition with change of countries, language and schools.  The hardest transition has been the language.  Louie and I have been working around the clock again without helping hands after living in China for six “comfy” years with a nanny to assist us. The transition has been smooth so far. It turns out our girls LOVE the school here; they are blessed to have GREAT teachers.
Louie works the same as before.  A lotJ! This year he has traveled twice to lead groups; during the summer time he led two groups and he also is leading one during Christmas time.  He continues loving what he is doing and has more followers to Uncle Louie Tours each year.  I take a lead role at home with a focus on the girls’ schooling, including communication with teachers, volunteering and after-school activities.  There is also chauffeuring the girls for dancing, singing, swimming, soccer, piano and more! Selena still loves reading; her favorite book right now is “Fault in our Stars”. Being in the school here for just six months, Selena has already become one of the top students. Liane loves sports; she plays front position on the “She-Hawks” soccer team and scored 13 out of 21 for her team (undefeated so far) this season.  Jasmine continues her voice lessons; we have learned that Jasmine was nominated in five categories of the Top Ten Chinese Children’s Singers. Also, we’ve been notified that one of Jasmine’s songs was nominated among the Top Ten Chinese Children’s Songs. This is the very first time that the Chinese Songs Listing Board has given awards to Chinese children. We are really proud of her. Selena and Jasmine are also learning Chinese dance and Ballet from Mr. Li HengDa, the judge for ‘So You Think You Can Dance?” China-US Competition.  All three girls play piano; Louie is a good monitor/supervisor of daily practices

For me, two memorable events happened this fall.   First of all, I traveled and visited the FCC group in Vancouver, BC.  Also accompanying me was Jenni “Fang” Lee of the documentary “Somewhere Between”.  Though we had talked on the phone previously, this was our first in-person meeting.  Spending time with Fang was as delightful as I had anticipated!  While she spoke to FCC kids, I spoke to adults; then I was able to hear her perspective as an adult adoptee and appreciate her experiences of traveling back to China 14 times following her adoption.  Her discussion/ Q&A time with parents was compelling.  I also was able to share about our family’s experience of living in China for the past six years.  There were lots of rewarding experiences to discuss about living between two cultures.

Another delightful experience was joining 2014 Holt Portland Gala in order to raise funds for providing medical support to children in China.  Lotus Travel was one of the key sponsors of this event. Our youngest daughter, Jasmine was honored to sing a beautiful Chinese song at the VIP reception of the event, and it was a rich time with Holt families, board members and friends at Holt.   I recently read (in Chinese) that provided a comprehensive overview of China adoption during the last twenty years. Mr. and Mrs. Holt were highlighted in the article as the pioneers of international adoption. All of this caused me to stop and consider how fortunate we have been.  Louie and I started working with families twenty years ago, about the time that adoptions from China began to get started.  We have been involved in a very personal way, with helping families connect and travel to meet their child for whom they earnestly worked and waited.  This opportunity – to be in the midst of this life-changing journey for so many – has enriched us immeasurably.   I wish you and yours the very best this coming year!                                               

Blessings,
Lea Xu

 

A Typical Day in Guangzhou, China

Louie and I had been planning to make our family’s return to the US in January 2014; which we accomplished on schedule.  I am writing a few paragraphs to share insight about our life routine in China just prior to our US return.  There are many things I love about each country.  I must admit though, I will not miss the Guangzhou traffic or the testing and homework pressure of China’s schools J!

I’ve picked a typical day, happening about three months prior to our  return.  We thought it was right time for the nanny to leave and started looking for a new job in order to move on with her life.  I would get up at 6:00 or before and start to cook breakfast. I thought I forgot to cook as we had the nanny before Selena, our oldest was born.  Then I realized nothing was impossible, lol J!   Girls like to eat ham and eggs with toast.  I also cooked noodles with soup. Sometimes I cooked congee with dumplings or steamed buns.  The wakeup call was 6:30A, breakfast time was 7:00A, and we tried to leave home at 7:20 which allowed the least amount of time on the road (20 minutes) to get to school.  During this last year in China, Selena was in a different campus from her two sisters.  I would go to Selena’s school first, especially
on the days I was too lazy to cook. Sometimes we ate at the McDonald's which was right across the street from her school.   Selena would walk across the street to school and I would take Liane and Jasmine to another campus.  By the time we would get to the lower grade’s campus, there were always already lots of cars on the street in front of the school.  This was a very busy street and it was really narrow, with two-way traffic and many people doing “illegal” parking.  Sometimes people would have to drop off their kid in the middle of the road.  Sometimes I would run into traffic jams and had to stop wherever I could to let the girls get out.  There was always a lot of people walking, lots of cars and lots of students.  It was hectic and crowded.   By the time we would get to the second campus, it could be already 8:00A.  The school bell rings right at that time.

I clearly remember one time I was totally stuck and caused a huge traffic jam.  There was a lot of illegal parking that morning; there were garbage cans right at the crossroad and also there was construction going on.  All of a sudden, a car was stopping right in front of me.  It blocked the entrance area.  Since I saw no cars were coming from the other side, I tried to pass by him quickly.  Right at the moment a Mercedes drove toward me.  I tried to back up, but that didn’t work -- a car parked right behind me, and the garbage cans were blocking the area too.  There was no way for me to back up and get out of the blockade.  The driver jumped out of the Mercedes and yelled at me.  I told him that he would have to back up and let me pass, otherwise both ways were jammed.  He did not want to do that, and ended up calling a policeman. The policeman came and yelled at me, I told him, I had a car stop right in front of me (not moving) and a car park right behind me.  The other car would have to back up!!  I was totally stuck in the middle.  After the Mercedes driver backed up, I drove by him, I opened the window and told him “I am sorry, but Mercedes does not have its own lane.”

The traffic usually was better coming home.  I had a choice to either go to the gym on the way home
or go home to park my car and walk along the river bank.  Gym opened at 8:00 am, I was usually the first one to get there.  I usually liked walking outside along the river better, as it was more  scenic. There were many people exercising in the morning along the river People would be doing Tai Chi, street dance, running or walking. There was always lots of people and  music.  My goal was to walk 10 kilometers every day. I plugged in my earphones, tuned to my phone for music and walked 5 kilometers each way.  That was the quiet and private time for me and the walking was absolutely scenic.  I would see sights like the famous XingHai Music Hall and the Art Museum from across the river on the Ersha Island. I would walk under Guangzhou Bridge, past the Asian Game Stadium, thelandmark Guangzhou TV Tower, LieDe Bridge and walk toward Pazhou Bridge.  It was totally

relaxing and enjoyable.  There was this bicycle rental “dak”  for people to “rent” bikes for free.  Because it was about 4 kilo from home, I did not want to come back all the way back to return the bike.  I was talking to this young guy about if I could return the bike at another dak spot along the river. He apologized and told me that would break the rules.  I was just curious why he worked there, I thought he

Bike Rental "Dak"

was the college student of Dr. Sun-Yatsen University (which is located right by our place), or maybe just a volunteer.  He told me actually he met a girl before when they both came to pick up bikes from here, he wanted to find  her again so he applied for the job here.  He came from countryside, his home was far away.  Since then, I thought of him and his “love” story whenever I passed by any daks.  People sometimes came from different places to meet for a good reason I guess.                        

After my morning exercise (1 hour 40 minutes), I usually go back home to work.  We lived in a nice apartment complex in the city.  People drove very expensive cars and dressed nicely.  At the entrance, I greeted the guards.  Right by the gate, this flower man was sitting there almost every morning.  Louie usually bought flower from him, 20-25 yuan a bunch, and a lot cheaper than in the store.  He smiled every time when you walked by, it was almost impossible to just pass by.  I was not sure if it was legal to sell flower without a license at that location.  Sometimes he would leave and take his bicycle walking around the neighborhood.  Other than my husband, the security guards, he probably was the man I saw almost every day regardless the weather was cold, hot or rainy.   I am sure he has a family to raise and his wife and children were waiting for him to go home every day with food and hopefully some money left for saving.

I took a nap after lunch, which was the supplement to my late working hours at night to match the US time zone.  I still kept that habit even after I started to be able to sleep at 10:00P and didn’t work a night shift.  Louie and I had a little tea time after napping before I went to pick up girls.  Because all three girls have different schedules, whoever got off earliest went to swim in the school pool.  The pickup time was 5:00 pm, Selena would walk to the other campus to meet us (as walking was fast than
driving between the two campuses during rush hour).

I sometimes went to this French Restaurant by school called “These Three” for coffee.  The owners are three brothers in their 60’s (I heard they were not married and just lived together as a family), the oldest brother is in charge of inventory, middle one is a chef and the youngest one is a coffee “lover”.  All of them went to Vietnam and France and lived there for a long time before moving back

Guangzhou TV Tower

to China.  Chef Ken speaks good English and French.  Every single time when I was there, he was reading some cooking magazines.  We sometimes would chat a bit and he let me try the new dishes he was making.  The youngest brother is funny, he likes to talk about coffee, and he would feed my girls chocolates whenever they were around.  Overall, it was like a waiting place for me and the girls.  Selena liked to order the onion bread there. The girls sometimes ate with the staff to try their food before the restaurant put out a new dish.  We were like their best “repeat” customers -- or maybe more like friends, or something in between.  I kind of liked the feeling --very cozy. 

Xianghai Music Hall  

We would get home around 6:00 pm and the night was pretty busy with homework.  Louie loves to cook, so he always made supper, and we usually started  eating around 7:30 pm.  By this time, the girls had not finished homework, as they have several hours each night. After dinner, usually another 1-1:30 hours to complete school assignments before taking a shower and getting ready for bed.  10:00 pm was the goal to turn off the light.  But usually we all ended up going to bed at 10:30 when Xinghai Music Hall’s most beautiful neon lights went off. At the same time, the lights along the river bank went off too.  The night became quiet.  There were times Selena and I would lie down on the couch and read another 30 minutes before we all were exhausted and fell asleep. Although the night was not long, when the day broke, it was time to start the next day!

Kids Are Only Young Once

 

During this past month, when we were busy planning year-end school parties ( I volunteer for each of our three girls’ classes); plus Selena’s graduation promotion party, my girls’ friends in China were preparing for their school year-end final exams.  Parties vs. finals--  wow, what a huge contrast! 

 I do not want to comment that one is good and another is bad.  During the past six years when we were in China, I actually was helping support my girls' year-end exams.  I remember after Selena was done with her first final exam of first grade, I was totally exhausted.  My feeling at that time, was actually similar to the feeling as after my own college entrance exam. What a relief!    At that time, I told myself, "This is not right".  It was just a beginning -- it's first grade!  But Chinese parents do not want their child to lose at the beginning.  Chinese people appreciate and follow the slogan “Be a winner at the beginning of the race”.  It's a really popular thought. 

We all know, life is not a dash.  It is much more like a marathon.  I was exhausted at beginning when I “dashed out” with my oldest child.  This is one of the reasons we switched her to a different school.  I started to relax when it came to second child’s turn.  The difference is my oldest, Selena does read a lot more than Liane, the typical middle child.  Sometimes Liane “complains” how much time and energy I

put on Selena.  When it came to the third one, I tried to take a break.  I clearly remembered when Jasmine’s teacher asked online in a message forum between teachers and parents about if summer vacation homework should be given.  I am the ONLY parent that said NO. And she came back to me  and said, "Other children do not have to but your child, Jasmine  has lost 8 points due to  missing one section of the Chinese test and needs to".   Of course, her score did affect the average grade of the entire class.  Oh boy, the teacher was SOOOO mad.  Later I found out that she  was really only asking parents the “homework or not” question, was simply a courteous formality she felt was required.  There was really only one right answer  -- we, as parents,  were expected to answer "YES".  Unfortunately, I was the naive one with a “wrong” answer.  

In China right now,  my girls’ Chinese friends are finishing up final exams. Parents and teachers are talking about arranging extra homework on top of the regular summer homework for the kids.  China’s elementary school has six years.  So this is an essential summer "vacation" for Selena’s friends in China.

 With them going into sixth grade next year they will have to get ready for the “promotion test” from elementary to middle school.  The other day, Selena was sitting in a friend’s car with her two daughters.  My friend told me, that Selena abruptly said “I am so happy to be here” even though they were totally talking about something else.   I understand why she said this.  Eight hours in school followed by three hours homework day after day is not fun.  Kids are only young once.  

I want them to be happy and healthy.

What if we would not have had children?

 A high school girlfriend recently found me and told me she is totally “free” now – no children and she quit her job to move to a new place with her husband.  When she was online with Selena (she is Selena’s god mother), I was reading with Jasmine and answering some math questions from Liane,  and Selena was asking me “mom, how to say ‘swamp’ in Chinese?”.   I said, “Selena, tell your godmother to come over to take care of you. Only you!”. 

 

What if we would not have had children?  It sounds terrible! But I swear I have thought of it.  Like the two of my close girlfriends, one is from high school (Selena’s godmother) and one is from college (Jasmine’s godmother), they are DINK (double income no kids). There are times I admire their freedom.  Since I've had the girls, I did  not recall anymore than three short business trips, where I left them at home.   I always stay on top of everything that is related to them. Sometimes I forgot myself, my life, my time and my comfort zone.

 

 I agree with what people say  “Parenting is a sweet cause, but also bitter --- bittersweet.”  In looking back on the past six years living in China, I recall how much of my happiness and honor have come from our 3three girls. I cried almost every time when Jasmine performed somewhere, which she did fairly often.  Her consistency of striving to do well always touches me.  Liane loves sports. Her courage and braveness in playing soccer, basketball and swimming  are admirable--she never gives up!! Selena, our oldest, always strives for getting to be academically on top, regardless  of how stressful it was.  Each child is very different.  How much I enjoy riding with them and talking about school, their friends and sharing life experiences with them.  And of course, there are stormy times when their emotions go up and down dramatically --- usually one after another:)!

 

 

What if we would not have had children? Well, I would certainly miss my chats with my girls.  They each carry their own character and is very attractive (to mom at least):!  The girls and I were praying the other night before we went to bed,  and I regret to admit, I lost my temper with them and was asking for forgiveness.  They were quietly listening to me,-- and then, here comes a low voice (from Liane imitating God) “It is OK, you are forgiven.” (her sense of humor always amuses me).  Jasmine is very sensitive, she likes to take shower with me and talks about something private, “You know what mom? To be honest, I think Daddy and Liane really LOVE you.  They need your attention. So remember to hug them each time when you say goodbye.  Hug them tightly!” (her sensitivity always touches my heart).  Selena has become much more mature since we moved back to Seattle.  She helps with housework (knowing that we lost our privilege of having nanny in the last 12 years), she deals with Liane’s frustrations well and her calmness, maturity and sensibility goes a long way to help out.

 

What if we would not have had children?  Oh, my! It's hard to imagine, but life would be so much less colorful.  Right now, I see so much of “mom” in Selena and “ dad” in Liane, and  Jasmine is the best part of “me”.  It is very interesting to see them as a mirror reflecting certain parts of us, as parents. I am certain that we learn and grow right along with them. Without them, life will be so boring and I would not be able to conquer difficulties that come along in life -- perhaps, most fundamentally, I would not be me – a proud and hard-working mom and a fulfilled woman.

 

Cultural Differences -- Cultural Revolution -- Trust

Last night, friends came over for dinner. As usual, Louie cooked some wonderful homemade Yi’s recipes  (yummy,yummyJ).  When the kids went downstairs to watch a movie, the adults had a talk about the “differences” between American and Asian.  One of the examples was when the girls were  selling homemade dumplings in our  neighborhood last weekend in order to raise fund for the kids with cancer at school.  The dumplings were sold out and 100% purchased by Caucasians.  Two of the Asian neighbors turned down the “offer”.  Asians should like dumplings more than Americans, however it is not about the “food” itself; it is about trust.   Another example happened when Selena and I went to Starbucks for a light dinner before her dance class  the other day.  As soon as we sat down, a girl came to us and told us the machine was down and the store would be closing.  She offered complimentary coupons for us to come back next time.  I shared this incident  with my friends in China.  One of them wrote back to me and said, if that had happened in China, the first reaction would be be “Is it true?” – the question mark!  On top of that, there won’t be any “compensation”.  It is about “trust”. 

During the Cultural Revolution, relationships between people became very complicated and trust was damaged.  It is why we always say Americans are easier to get to  the point.  Chinese sometimes have to go around and around before they make  the point.  It might have to do with the culture, but also life experiences  really changed people in important ways.  I remembered an interview was conducted here in US with one of the June 4^th , 1989 Tiananmen Square Incident leaders.  She said, “Everyone lies in China”  and her point was that  you almost had to “protect” yourself to lie about something in order to cover yourself.  How sad that was!  “Trust” and “Integrity” are such valuable characteristics to carry for a person.

China has five thousand years of culture, our ancestors taught us “a man without trust and integrity is not a true man”.  Louie and one of the friends at dinner that evening went through the tough time of the Cultural Revolution. They were silent in the discussion until  we finally all agreed that “America is like a huge laundry machine. People come from all over the world  and bring their own colors.  We might get ‘dyed’.  But it all gets  washed off eventually. “ No matter how complicated your thoughts are, finally we  can be  clear and  direct  here in the States. "

In China -- How to Change to a Better School?

I was told the principal of the school, Ms. Wang greeted students every morning, Monday through Friday at 7:45 am.  I drove to the school on one of the chilly mornings to meet my friend Lilian. Her son had got accepted into the same school after her husband, a nice, humble Taiwanese man introduced himself and their son right at front gate of the school.  I was going to do the same. 

We waited in the car, until Lilian pointed out the principal, an elegant woman in red overcoat was standing right by the front gate with a beautiful smile on her face to greet each of her students and teachers.  I got out of my car and patiently waited until the school bell rang.  I went forward and introduced myself and shook hands with her.  I certainly was not shy. I felt like a sales-woman who had to finish the introduction of our family, three daughters and why we came all the way from US to China within a short time frame.  She listened, nodded and smiled, even praised me and my husband for our “great” decision of moving to China to learn Chinese and its culture.  We talked about 10 minutes before I expressed my gratitude and left.  The meeting was pleasant, but I did not know this would be just the beginning of a marathon. 

This was was December 2009 --  the school  was starting winter vacation in early Jan 2010  and would be out of session for one month.  After I exchanged many (I mean many many) text messages with Ms. Wang, I was told the quota was full for spring semester which started after Chinese New Year and continued until the summer vacation.  

If I were to tell you I had never used this much effort in my communication skills-- not even on marketing business to build up clients base, you might laugh -- but it is so true.  If I had done work with the same effort, now Lotus would have triple the number of clients now (LOL!)  I did not give up. I kept in close contact with Ms. Wang.  She felt sorry that she could not help with the quota (education bureau puts a  limit on the number of students of each class, which is 47!!). She suggested I write to the head of the district education bureau.  That was the most beautiful letter I have ever written.  I expressed our desire of entering into the school, the research I had done, the long trip we made from US to China, our family and three lovely girls, each had their own talents to bring to the school.  I personally delivered the letter to the education bureau office.  I did not hear back for at least two months. 

By this time, it was already late April. I knew that mid-May is the deadline for fall semester registration.  Since the girls are US citizens  and we were not living within the school district, I could not just go and register the girls.  The waiting time was very long and tough.  I decided to make a call to Ms. Wang, even though the call might not be picked up. I thought, it most likely wouldn’t get picked up.  I was anxious to know anyway… Yes, she answered the phone!!  And guess what? The head of the district education bureau was sitting right next to her!!  They were having a meeting together and it was the break time.  She told me that she would ask about the letter and get back to me.  This could be an excuse to end the conversation.  But I could tell she sensed my feelings and was willing to help.  I saw a glimmer of hope and even became hopeful to hear back from her that day.  Of course that was not what happened though. After a few days of waiting, I saw this text message:  “Please come to school at 2:30 pm today”.  Selena and I both dressed up and arrived at 2:15 pm.  A parent was in the principal’s office, talking and bowing with tears (the mom later became my friend, her son was in the same class with Selena) and looked like she was grateful to the principal.  Finally, it was our turn.  Selena talked about the book she brought along to discuss. The book was written by a Japanese writer who had written about her school and principal when she was young.  Ms. Wang also read the book and was happy that Selena’s reading level was quite advanced.  I was asked to fill out some family investigation forms.  And I was told we could come to register Selena on May 14.  By looking around the campus, I found they had a very small playground and the slides were old.  When I expressed my desire to make donation to make the playground nicer, Ms. Wang told me the school already had funds from the education bureau for that and thanked me for my gesture. Our family later made a donation which was used to set up a school counselor program, to help both teachers and students.  We are really pleased with the donation usage, and Ms. Wang and I became lifelong  friends.

Researching Schools in China

The time was September 2009, when our oldest daughter Selena started first grade in China.  We liked a public school that was a well-known local university’s attached elementary school in Guangzhou.  It was also close to where we lived, so it seemed ideal.  I still have very vivid memories of Selena and I walking the thirty minutes through the university campus each way every day to school.  We talked, laughed and tried to recite English words along the way.  It was fun and we both really enjoyed our private mother-daughter time.  Ms. Li was Selena’s lead teacher; she was very rigid and controlling.  I understood she was also the first grade teachers’ leader, which meant she led the teachers group and had direction for all the first grade students in the school.  I certainly did not expect she would try to lead the parents as wellJ!   I decided that I appreciate respect more than leadership from my daughter’s teacher. 

At this time it was 1 ½ years after we moved back to China.  I went online searching and found a group called Guangzhou Mothers.  There was a huge amount of discussion about schools in Guangzhou and there were ratings of each as well.  There was one top school which listed that It’s mission included being “student-based”  -- this of course, really caught my eye.  In China’s traditional teaching, it is always  “teacher-based”  -- what that really means is that the teacher talks the entire time and students listen only and take notes.  The teacher is never to be questioned and even if everyone knows the teacher is wrong, no one will say anything of it.  This school described their approach as “student-based” which meant that students would discuss topics in different groups in the class and ask questions with a lot of opportunity for students to present information themselves.  In this school, reading was also highly encouraged, with most of their students reading a great number of books and words from first grade. Sounds like a great fit!  But how to transfer from one school to another?

China "Honeymoon Period"

In the first six months after we relocated to China, it was like our “honeymoon” to a new place even though both Louie and I came from China to the US 20 years ago.  It was quite exciting to see so many people around every day, eat gourmet food and of course make new friends.  The girls went to a private pre-school at Guangzhou’s Ersha Island and we made quite a few “expat” friends who worked for US consulate. Many parents of children from that school were international families and I remember visiting the expat compound so often for birthday parties or other events that the girls often got confused about if we live in China or America.   There, most people spoke English in the expat compound and it seemed so different than the rest of the world J    

We made some really GREAT friends with those parents, which I cherish and will appreciate for a lifetime. Many of the children graduated from the private pre-school chose and then chose to go to the international school or go abroad for study.  Our family made a different decision and enrolled our kids in the local Chinese public school.  That decision brought us into the real world in China – it proved to be a really good decision as I look back on it all six years later.  Louie and I, as parents, grew with our children along the way and experienced “real” life in China.  The expat community was helpful for transition, but I’m glad our children experienced the “real” China.  That was a key reason for our international move in the first place. 

When we relocated to China in 2008 it was 50% for business and 50% for our children, I would like to say moving back to the states now in 2014 is 100% for our children. Back in 2007, we had talked regularly about making the move to China. It actually turned out to be a quick decision that December when we learned one of our key staff members was leaving our Seattle office to move back to China herself.  Louie and I made up our mind. 

It was Jan 06, 2008 when our family arrived in Guangzhou BaiYun International Airport with 10 pieces of checking luggage and 20 + carry-ons, plus three young children.  Jasmine was carried on daddy’s shoulder.  Our girls were pretty young at five, three and one year old.  They were at a perfect stage to learn a second language (Mandarin is really the first language for Jasmine).

It turned out to be such an incredible year for our family and for China.   On May 12, 2008, the Sichuan Earthquake took thousands of Chinese lives. And just four days shy of three months after the earthquake, Beijing hosted its very first Olympics Game.  We cried for the lost lives and made large donation to support people who lost their family members. We cheered for the greatest number of gold medals for China at the Olympics.  It was quite a year for China and for each of us.

Differences: Dance Competition

The girls  and I recently watched a Champion Dancing Competition between China and US ("So You Think You Can Dance"). While the program originated the US, China broadcast it while we were still there. The competition was between the champion dancers of China and US.  Coincidently one of the five judges, the only Chinese judge Mr. Li Hengda is  the girls’ dancing instructor here in Seattle.  This is definitely the top competition, here is the link http://www.tudou.com/albumplay/SWbunVpEi2c/S6RGeutcIHI.html

 

Chinese dancers won the overall best group competition. Their training foundation and skills are very strong and their presentation is artistic and flawless.  The individual winner was, Russell from US.   Russell won the super star/dancer over China’s Zhang, AoYue.  My observation is:  you know Chinese artists or athletes are trained professionally typically from 4-5 years old for a good 10- 20 years full time before they became famous. One example of this that comes to mind is LangLang (the Chinese pianist).  He has practiced 9 hours a day every day since he was five.  I am not sure anyone can have that long lasting of an “interest”.   Yes, we have heard over and over, that is why you are not LangLang or "xxx" because you can not endure the hard times. Langlang’s dad almost caused him to commit suicide when he refused to practice.   I  remember reading Michael Phelps biography (Olympics’ seven gold medal swimmer).  It told of how he loves swimming and enjoys it. 

 

I am sure many of our Chinese “stars” must love what they have been doing before they commit to it. However, there is still a difference in the culture that affects each differently.   It showed in the dance competition.  China’s essentials of basic training is way above; the dancers are visually beautiful and present each move very nicely.  However, US dancers are more of the “international model”.  It has to do with the culture, education and overall environment.   During the performance, the American dancers really touched us with their enthusiasm about dancing. It was funny and relaxing to watch. As a matter of fact, my three girls really supported the US group in their cheering because they loved their natural and relaxed style.  I think the soul of art is to touch people’s heart and when that happens, it is contagious. 

 

People even said the Chinese dancers were much more relaxed in the Las Vegas competition than when performing in China.  I totally understand.   This is why when we just look at an American kid you can tell he/she is different from a Chinese kid (our girls are a little different, they are "wild"J) .  Americans are more at ease.  Chinese people will say Americans are natural to become an actor/actress or a public speaker since they are much more relaxed, natural and poised.  Chinese are trained to be intentional in everything they do -- it must be for a purpose.  Of course things have changed a lot, China is changing and connecting to the world and is beginning to learn to play under the “international model”. 

When Western Valentine's Day meets China’s Valentine’s Day (Feb 14, 2014)

Feb 14, 2014, China’s Lantern Festival (last day of Chinese New Year celebration), it is also known as the western Valentine’s Day. It is said to take 19 years to have this “meeting” once. The next  time will be in year 2033.

Coincidentally this is my 19th year in the United States, since I first came to WA in 1995.  Wow!

Valentine's Day in the US is not just to celebrate love between male and female.  It has broad meaning of love for all.  So schools will have all kinds of parties to celebrate love among students/friends, between teachers and students.  Children show their affection to their parents and relatives.  A husband  will get his wife a box of chocolates and beautiful roses to show his love.  

On China’s Lantern Festival Day, families will get together to enjoy Lanterns at night after eating Yuan Xiao or Tang Yuan (the sweet dumpling).  Young people will go to watch Lanterns and pray a romantic love story happens.

When you look at both holidays, they have the same meaning of celebrating either romantic love or just great love between  people.  When West meets East, the culture is connected – It is my wish that  LOVE between people lasts forever!

Starbucks in China

Starbucks in China opens in the early morning.  I sometimes meet up with friends or just go there to have breakfast after I drop off girls at school before 8:00A.  It is quiet without many customers in the morning.  Starbucks here in the US is crowded in the morning with people coming and going to get coffee for a refreshing morning.  I actually LOVE Starbucks in China, it is one of those places that reminded me of home in US, which I  missed from time to time while I was living in Guangzhou.  I remember the first time went to the Starbucks in Guangzhou’s CBD (ZhuJiangXinCheng) by Children’s Palace where Selena took her gymnastics class.  The small coffee shop was packed with foreigners.  With all the English speaking guests around, I felt like I was in the States.  That was such a welcome feeling for me who was away from the US  for six years--it was like missing a bit of home. At the

time, I missed the fireplace, the comfy sofa, my Chai Latte and the entire community feeling.  Each time when I was looking from the window facing the street, I though of people who walked on the street no matter in the rain or under the sun, they might be just like me -- people who came from other places  to live in this big fancy city.  Where is home?  Home is where your heart sets, home is where your family members are, home is where you are with your loved ones, your children, your parents, your husband or wife. 
When I was complaining once how uncomfortable the Starbucks couch was, my friend said you were not supposed to sit here for very long.  They need other customers coming and going J  Yes, it was in China.  Now, when I am in the Starbucks here near our Bellevue home, I miss my  China friends.

My friend Lan, lives in the same building above Starbucks.  She likes to go down there to have a quiet morning just for herself. Sometimes we run into each other at Starbucks downstairs, most the time, we met for breakfast there. She is the girls' "godmother" a virtuous Chinese lady.  Another friend of mine, named Yan lived just a mile away from me along the beautiful Pearl River. Sometimes we would run into each other when we were both walking by the riverbank for exercise, sometimes we met at Starbucks near her home for coffee.  When we met, we each brought other a book for exchange.   Those are the most memorable time for me at Starbucks in China with my dear friends.

Moon's Cafe

“Auntie Moon is ‘fancy’ and ‘stylish’.” (quoting from daughter Liane’s original words).  I knew Moon because her beautiful daughter Yaoyao was a  best friend with our second daughter Liane in preschool – one of the best schools on Guangzhou’s Ersha Island. 

 Moon talks and laughs loud , and though she is in her mid-forties,  she does not have wrinkle!!  In China I always admired her extreme-hospitality and her endless energy. She is never tired of dealing with all kinds of people who are guests in the most classic and elegant Moon’s Cafe located in a five star hotel in Guangzhou.  We became very good friends– like sisters( when she said so, I was flattered).  Moon’s husband, Lao Chen is a real gentleman. He is kind, gentle and very much supportive of his wife.  He is quiet (yes, his wife takes the opportunity) but he listens well and supports Moon from time to time.  I like his gentle smiles and he always sends his sincere compliment to ladies (I thought that was really sweet for a Chinese man). Yes, they are a nice couple and very special in our hearts. 

Moon’s Cafe is the best place for friends’ gathering, live music and seminars.  Our three girls were invited to play their little band at the café, which was broadcast on TV as part of the  “good night Guangzhou” program.  This took place right before our departure from China on Jan 12 — what a crazy busy time!  Moon called up all of our circle of friends and their children for the live performance at Café. It turned out really fantastic!! 

We decided to have an art group called “Moon’s Cafe Children’s Art Groups”.  We made plans to go out performing all over the world including…  yes, Seattle.   We love a place regardless it is a country, a city or a cafeteria. For me, it has to do with “people”.  When you travel to a new place, you meet great people and because of that, you love the place.  Because we LOVE auntie Moon, we love Moon’s Café.  It’s just like girls said, Auntie Moon is the best!  (Of course, it may also have something to do with the fact they ate up all the Hagen Daz in the Café– oh boy, that was the most expensive ice cream in ChinaJ)

Lifestyle Differences

In China’s big cities like Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, life is pretty” internationalized ” meaning shopping, food, entertainment, information standards are mostly at an international benchmark.  Living costs between Guangzhou and Seattle is  much higher.  For example, a grande ChaiTea Latte costs USD4 in Starbucks in Seattle, but it cost 38 yuan($6+) in Guangzhou, China.  A Polo shirt costs about average $40 in US, but over RMB1000 (almost $200) in China.  Guangzhou has a high cost of living, as does Beijing and Shanghai.

A bread from the  BreadTalk  shop for example costs RMB7-8 ($1.2-1.3), three girls at least ate three in the afternoon and three next morning for breakfast.  Each day I would spend between RMB50-80 ($10-15) just for bakery items.

A spot where I felt it every day in Guangzhou while living there was that I bought some bakery  goods in Guangzhou for girls daily before I went to pick up them from school.  My “mommy heart” realizes it is a long day for them (7:00A – 5:00P) though they do get a longer lunch break than US kids.  From what I heard though, the school lunch was really yukky.  I always got to feed some hungry kids as soon as they saw me. I found a yummy whole grain bakery called BreadTalk. 

In Bellevue, WA, just the other day, Louie and I had a Genki Sushi for lunch in the Factoria Mall.  The total cost for the two of us was less than $20, which is much less expensive than Guangzhou.  Our girls could eat more than us.  In China, the cost is always over RMB200 (USD40) just for our “three little piggies”. In Gangzhou, there  are lots of good restaurants from Hong Kong (like my favorite Jade Garden for dimsum), and the US (Burger King is girls’ favorite) and Southeast Asia (like Genki Sushi from Japan) are all very popular but expensive.  Talking about Burger King, it is actually not as popular as MacDonald’s in China even though I think Burger King’s burger is so much better. But Burger King’s each burger costs at least RMB24 (USD4) or more.   A dim sum morning tea at Jade Garden for 3-4 people easily costs RMB400-500 (USD70-80).   Yikes!  It was saved for a special occasion.

Most of our friends in China are businessmen or women, and we became friends because of children were in the same school.  So we our families got together a lot to go out.  For example, we might go out on the new year day (Jan 01), had dinners, went to Karaoke or join our friend Moon’s Coffee shop where there was live music performances.  I also enjoyed some afternoon high tea or coffee — which are the mommies’ favorites.  Of course, when the mommies get together the topic is always and forever ALL ABOUT CHILDREN.  The moms might discuss information comes from Wei Chat (very much like Facebook), Wei Blog, QQ and similar chatting groups. We compare notes about raising children and our lives and such.   

I think that now with the technology, people feel the world is smaller.  In some ways, we all live in the same village.  However life styles  in different parts of the world are different;  and certainly living expenses are a big part of that difference.