During this past month, when we were busy planning year-end school parties ( I volunteer for each of our three girls’ classes); plus Selena’s graduation promotion party, my girls’ friends in China were preparing for their school year-end final exams. Parties vs. finals-- wow, what a huge contrast!
I do not want to comment that one is good and another is bad. During the past six years when we were in China, I actually was helping support my girls' year-end exams. I remember after Selena was done with her first final exam of first grade, I was totally exhausted. My feeling at that time, was actually similar to the feeling as after my own college entrance exam. What a relief! At that time, I told myself, "This is not right". It was just a beginning -- it's first grade! But Chinese parents do not want their child to lose at the beginning. Chinese people appreciate and follow the slogan “Be a winner at the beginning of the race”. It's a really popular thought.
We all know, life is not a dash. It is much more like a marathon. I was exhausted at beginning when I “dashed out” with my oldest child. This is one of the reasons we switched her to a different school. I started to relax when it came to second child’s turn. The difference is my oldest, Selena does read a lot more than Liane, the typical middle child. Sometimes Liane “complains” how much time and energy I
put on Selena. When it came to the third one, I tried to take a break. I clearly remembered when Jasmine’s teacher asked online in a message forum between teachers and parents about if summer vacation homework should be given. I am the ONLY parent that said NO. And she came back to me and said, "Other children do not have to but your child, Jasmine has lost 8 points due to missing one section of the Chinese test and needs to". Of course, her score did affect the average grade of the entire class. Oh boy, the teacher was SOOOO mad. Later I found out that she was really only asking parents the “homework or not” question, was simply a courteous formality she felt was required. There was really only one right answer -- we, as parents, were expected to answer "YES". Unfortunately, I was the naive one with a “wrong” answer.
In China right now, my girls’ Chinese friends are finishing up final exams. Parents and teachers are talking about arranging extra homework on top of the regular summer homework for the kids. China’s elementary school has six years. So this is an essential summer "vacation" for Selena’s friends in China.
With them going into sixth grade next year they will have to get ready for the “promotion test” from elementary to middle school. The other day, Selena was sitting in a friend’s car with her two daughters. My friend told me, that Selena abruptly said “I am so happy to be here” even though they were totally talking about something else. I understand why she said this. Eight hours in school followed by three hours homework day after day is not fun. Kids are only young once.
I want them to be happy and healthy.
"Be a winner at the beginning of the race" made me wonder. Could this philosophy be a consideration in birth parents giving up their kids in hopes of them being adopted? If a child is born with medical problems it is understandable that the birth parents might not be able to financially take care of the child. But are they also seen as losing the race at birth? If a child was developmentally slow, they would understandably bring down the class score, which would cause tension. I do not know much about schools in China. Do they have any sort of special education for these students? You mentioned having to take a test to go into junior high. Do you have to take a test before first grade? What happens if a child does poorly on the end of year test in first or second grade? Also, in your experience, do you know what a family adopting a 12 year old who is in 2nd or 3rd grade does when they bring him to the U.S. as far as schooling goes? We are traveling to pick up our 4 year old in about a month, but I have already begun looking at other kids for adoption, and was thinking of adopting a child who may be close to aging out of the system.
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