Twenty Years of Memories

Last month, I attended a celebration in Guangzhou, which was hosted at the US consulate in Guangzhou  (see photos included here). The purpose of the event was to commemorate 20 years of China -US adoptions.  The evening was incredible and full of memories of the 20 years.  I spoke at the event, and "Somewhere Between" was shown.   It was  emotional to watch Fang search for her birth parents and not yet find them.  And to watch Haley locate her birth parents, especially when the two families were united and hugged.  The girls were not lost and found, they had two moms and dads who love, care and think of them.  During that moment It occured to me that the last 20 years was rewarded.  There was a mom and adopted daughter on the panel on the consulate celebration night.  When audience said the daughter was lucky, and the mom said “no, we as parents were the lucky ones”.  I was in tears.  

This past week I have experienced a lot of memories.  It was  20 years ago  (Dec. 10) when I landed at the  SEA/TAC airport, arriving to the US for the first time from China. I am grateful to my parents who encouraged me to fly over to the US and start my new life in Tacoma.  I am pleased that Louie, worked before hand and initiated contact with adoption agencies throughout US before my arrival. So much has occurred during the past 20 years, including  working with  approximately 30,000 families who traveled to adopt and unite with their children.  Last week was the anniversary of my 20 years in US; October marked Lotus’ 20^th anniversary.   Wow!

Lotus Travel is like our 20 year-old "baby".  Louie and I contributed part of our life together as we also established this relationship with the adoption community. As Louie continues to lead homeland heritage tour groups, I am focused on cultural exchange ; living in China life experiences as well as sharing and giving back to the community.  Life is moving on. We are grateful for being part of the adoption journey with so many families.  I pray that as we continue,  the journey filled is filled with joy, peace and hope.  

Cultural Differences -- Cultural Revolution -- Trust

Last night, friends came over for dinner. As usual, Louie cooked some wonderful homemade Yi’s recipes  (yummy,yummyJ).  When the kids went downstairs to watch a movie, the adults had a talk about the “differences” between American and Asian.  One of the examples was when the girls were  selling homemade dumplings in our  neighborhood last weekend in order to raise fund for the kids with cancer at school.  The dumplings were sold out and 100% purchased by Caucasians.  Two of the Asian neighbors turned down the “offer”.  Asians should like dumplings more than Americans, however it is not about the “food” itself; it is about trust.   Another example happened when Selena and I went to Starbucks for a light dinner before her dance class  the other day.  As soon as we sat down, a girl came to us and told us the machine was down and the store would be closing.  She offered complimentary coupons for us to come back next time.  I shared this incident  with my friends in China.  One of them wrote back to me and said, if that had happened in China, the first reaction would be be “Is it true?” – the question mark!  On top of that, there won’t be any “compensation”.  It is about “trust”. 

During the Cultural Revolution, relationships between people became very complicated and trust was damaged.  It is why we always say Americans are easier to get to  the point.  Chinese sometimes have to go around and around before they make  the point.  It might have to do with the culture, but also life experiences  really changed people in important ways.  I remembered an interview was conducted here in US with one of the June 4^th , 1989 Tiananmen Square Incident leaders.  She said, “Everyone lies in China”  and her point was that  you almost had to “protect” yourself to lie about something in order to cover yourself.  How sad that was!  “Trust” and “Integrity” are such valuable characteristics to carry for a person.

China has five thousand years of culture, our ancestors taught us “a man without trust and integrity is not a true man”.  Louie and one of the friends at dinner that evening went through the tough time of the Cultural Revolution. They were silent in the discussion until  we finally all agreed that “America is like a huge laundry machine. People come from all over the world  and bring their own colors.  We might get ‘dyed’.  But it all gets  washed off eventually. “ No matter how complicated your thoughts are, finally we  can be  clear and  direct  here in the States. "